Dear Zesters,
In yesterday’s post, Teal Swan, we looked at a prominent spiritual guru who I think is basically a sociopath and lunatic narcissist. I think that was really the main point of the whole article, to say that she’s insane. I also think a point of the post was to indicate that bad people can take advantage of struggling people — to great success — and maybe I’ll discuss this at a future point but I think it really indicates the ‘greyness’ of the world we live in. There’s really no such thing as right and wrong — and everyone’s susceptible to faltering judgement — and so we have to just independently develop our worldview and stick by it and trust ourselves — which can be super hard!
Enough of Teal. Today we’re sticking with 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery and going through an excerpt of the Addicted Mind.
Is Our Disease the Culprit?
The first and most important thing to consider when looking for the cause of self-destructive behavior is whether our disease is lurking in the shadows. Let me explain my particular view of addiction, which should help explain why I see this as the most crucial issue to rule out.
Research supported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has demonstrated that the addict’s brain changes once addiction has been established. In one study, researchers assembled two groups of people: one group with a history of cocaine use who were in recovery and one group with no history of drug abuse. Each subject was given a PET scan that generates a computer image of the areas of the brain that are absorbing glucose, which reflects which areas of the brain are active.
In the first phase of the study, researchers showed the subjects a video of a hummingbird. In the next phase, they showed the subjects a video of drug-related paraphernalia. In both phases, researchers performed brain scans and collected images. The results revealed that a part of the brain called the amygdala lit up when the recovering drug addicts watched the drug-related video but was inactive when they watched the other video. The amygdala is part of the reward center of the brain. The amygdala did not light up when subjects who never used cocaine observed the drug-related video. This study and numerous others clearly demonstrate that the addict’s brain is different from the normal person’s brain. Once the brain has been changed by addiction, it is changed forever.
This research supports what has been said for many years in the substance-abuse field: addiction is like a tiger lying in wait for its prey. Unfortunately, we are the prey! The tiger is extremely patient as it waits for the optimal moment to pounce on its unsuspecting victim. It is well camouflaged with denial, minimization, rationalization, and other psychological defenses, so it is hard to distinguish the menace from its surroundings. It is extremely powerful and can kill or maim with its first strike, especially when the addiction is to methamphetamine or cocaine. Its stealth makes it hard to identify as it is sneaking up and preparing to attack. Addiction is cunning and baffling. Many times its victims do not know they are being stalked until it is too late.
What makes matters even worse is that our opponent—our addiction—knows everything about us. It is a part of us; it has all the intelligence, capabilities, insights, and knowledge that we possess. It’s like we are in a life-and-death struggle against a clone. Our disease anticipates our every move. It understands our strategies. It knows our strengths and weaknesses.
From this discussion, we can see why recovery is so difficult and elusive, and why so many people struggle to get well. I have seen figures that indicate that 80 percent of newcomers relapse in their first year.
It is imperative to begin recovery with surrender. We cannot defeat addiction in the traditional sense. The solution begins with a paradox: victory is achieved through surrender, not in battle.
When we totally and unconditionally surrender, which means that we accept our total and complete powerlessness over our addiction, we begin to build a solid foundation for recovery. If we surrender, our disease loses its control over our life. It doesn’t disappear. It doesn’t go away. It never goes away! It merely recedes into the background. Yet it’s always there, like that tiger, waiting for when we have a lapse in our spiritual program, when we are feeling down and out because we have just gotten into a bitter argument with our spouse, or when we have received a special recognition at work and feel that we deserve to celebrate. It will act on any opportunity to regain control of our life. The stronger our recovery, the more subtle and insidious are addiction’s efforts to sabotage us. Beware!
Now let’s use this discussion of addiction to understand self-destructive behavior. The first thing to consider is whether our disease is once again trying to establish a foothold in our life. It may be setting us up in order to take charge and again run the show. Remember, it is always looking for that opportunity to convince us to return to drinking or using other drugs.
Often a person enters treatment and looks for all the ways that his using isn’t as bad as those around him. He argues, “I wasn’t that out of control and didn’t lose my job. My spouse hasn’t left. I only had one DUI. I never experienced a blackout. I didn’t drink in the morning. I never hid the bottles.” The list can go on and on and on. Before long, he has convinced himself that he can return to drinking; he will just need to control it better this time around. This is an example of a person who has not truly surrendered.
The disease is capable of convincing us to go ahead and drink again, because this time it will be different. “You are not a real alcoholic!” is what it is covertly saying. The addicted part of us will insist on this position, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Why? Because the disease will selectively ignore information that validates our powerlessness. This filtering is called selective inattention. The information that indicates we are an alcoholic and unable to control our drinking is ignored.
Watching out for how the beast may be sabotaging our recovery is crucial. So watch and listen. It will be our own life that we save if we keep a constant vigil.
- Allen Berger, PhD, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
Well — that’s all for today! The above discussion really reminded me of the parts of Infinite Jest where Gately is describing the Sergeant at Arms and Captain or whatever at the chess board always lying in wait for you to make a wrong move and then making its move when you’re most vulnerable. I mean I think that really is what addiction is. And the whole above discussion around addiction being so difficult because it is an identical clone of you is a fascinating way of thinking about it — but also very true. I think that’s why you have to always try to be the truer version of you and not the addicted version of you — which expands beyond any substance use to honesty with yourself and honesty with others, etc. etc.
Let’s all have a wonderful weekend what do ya say! Spread kindness, love and joy!
With infinite zest for life,
Luke
Do you really believe addiction is a disease? Apart from a superficial physical dependency I don't even think addiction exists, it's just bad choices. Loads of them, in fairness - but choices all the same. Nice one. Enjoyed reading it though.