Status Report: 0644;102824;LUKE;N;DEASY
Say hello to my little friend.
Getting uncomfortably public about addiction, mental health, substance abuse, and other random stuff through unfiltered stream-of-consciousness writing [is that redundant?]. Subscribe here:
Introductory Remarks
Dear Zesters,
In last Friday’s post, Getting Graphic #13: Incel Proliferation, we looked at a graph that displayed increased instances of non-sex in the adult population under 35 since the advent of smartphones, really, among all sorts of other types of societal things that have altered the fabric of civilization (not to be dramatic). I actually find the graph quite interesting, but also pretty sad—even to think that there was like 10-15% or whatever of the population that wasn’t fucking pre-iPhone, that’s sad—I guess unless it was their choice, in which case of course that’s fine, but I think a mature understanding of sex is having someone you care about and want to share that experience with, and it’s sad to think that not everyone has that. In any case, moving on!
Status
Physical Fragility
I’m not saying that I’m fragile, because I’m not: but, also, I’ve like just accidentally hit parts of my body on objects in the past like 24ish hours and that has resulted in some very real physical hurt and pain. I’m not here looking for comfort, or anything, but just wanted to express and share how much like dull pain I’m in—and use this as a reminder to enjoy health when I have it—and then to work more proactively to maintain and optimize said health. But none of this new. I’m kind of upset that I’ve even devoted a section on this. Whatever.
Uncertainty
I’m not sure if I hit on this last week, but I’m in a time of particular uncertainty and upheaval right now—and it’s really mostly like very positive uncertainty, which is amazing—but I’m also just in this place where I’m not positive where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing a year from now—and I think that’s made it hard to like figure out how to handle myself or move through life in the current moment. Over the past 12 months or so, I’ve developed a really strong and firm foundation in life socially and professionally and in other areas and it’s been so rewarding and fulfilling and I’ve enjoyed giving that my energy and attention—and the energy and like positivity I’ve received back from that effort has been incredible. But now I think with the looming uncertainty I’m just a little less certain where to invest my time and my energy, because then there’s some question of not being sure exactly what I’m building towards. And then I think part of the way to ameliorate the negatives of some of this uncertainty is to just detach from the outcome and try not to like overthink or extrapolate or whatever and just lock in on the process—and in a lot of ways I’ve tried to do that over the past several years and that’s all fine and good—but I also think I have to balance that overall vibe with like the productivity and contentment associated with feeling like I’m building towards something. And so right now I just don’t know what I’m building towards, in some pretty meaningful and specific ways, despite like general alignment. I’m trying to take it all day by day and just embrace the excitement of the uncertainty—but that’s much easier said than done. Ugh.
Steelers
As you may or may not, the Steelers didn’t play yesterday and play tonight. Things really panned out perfectly for the Steelers yesterday in terms of divisional play and so I’m really hoping that we can ride the positive Russ vibes into a successful MNF performance against a team that, by all accounts and measures, we should defeat. But I get so nervous even typing that because it feels like such a trap game. Like we’ve won something like 22 straight MNF games at home or something like that, and are 5-2 in our color rush jerseys or something—and so the point being that we have literally all of the stats like big time big time in our favor, and then the spread is like favoring us by 7.5 points or something—and so it just all feels like it’s gearing up to be a let-down of a game where we lose precisely because we should win. But, on the flip side, I think this is a really great opportunity to set a new standard and see if we really are the team that I believe we can be—one that wins the games we’re supposed to, and doesn’t listen to any of the noise, and takes things very seriously. I’m hopeful that that will be how we show up, and that we’ll live up to the moment, and manage a commanding win. But we shall see. Fingers crossed!
Weather
Last quick thing, and apologies for a semi-non-post here, but the weather in Chicago has been so incredibly beautiful for like the past 2 months, and I’ve just really enjoyed it so much. It’s arguably been the prettiest 2 months of my life, and definitely like top decile of 2-month experiences if you could assess things in such a way (which, like, you totally can, but it’s not typically done). But I’ve been so thankful for the incredible weather and am also kind of slowly preparing myself for the colder months to come. I just love Chicago so much.
Concluding Remarks
Okay, kind of have to get moving. Trying to remain resilient and calm and optimistic in the face of all the looming uncertainty—and that’s life. Have a beautiful week and keep your fingers crossed for a resounding Steelers victory tonight!
With infinite zest for life,
Luke